If your kid is on a chatbot most evenings, begin with what you can actually observe: what they use, what they share with it, and whether they can explain the result. Frequent use can be thoughtful, careless, creative or extractive. The amount alone does not tell you which.
The Australian eSafety Commissioner says parental controls have limits and work best alongside conversation, supervision and joining in a child's online activities. The point is not secret monitoring. It is giving a young person enough support to make safer choices while preserving trust.
Try one calm conversation: which tool are you using, what do you like about it, and can you show me one thing you made? Check the provider's current age requirements and family settings together. Then agree on three boundaries: no sensitive personal information, no undisclosed schoolwork, and no sharing a project publicly without a family decision.
The next step, if you want it: a free family assessment — about 3 minutes, one named profile, every source linked.